I only played it for a little bit. It's ok I guess.

This game taught me about the diversity of cultures that our small little corner of the universe offers. Then it taught me to hate them all.

I only played a little but it was fun.

It's like roulette; fun until it turns into Russian.

Things I gave to DotA: 1. Money 2. Time 3. Love Things DotA gave me: 1. Arthritis 2. Carpal tunnel syndrome 3, Hatred of Russians, Mexicans, Spanish, Finnish, and Russians 4. Broken keyboard 5. Broken mouse 6. 9/10 ready 7. Server crashes 8. 4 stacks of Russians in EUW servers on English prefrence settings 9. Ranked matches 10. Free to play but Pay to win games (I.E. - Foreseer's contract, New Bloom 2015) 11. "It's in the bag" spam (especially Skywrath) 12. Multilingual cursing - I guess this is a good thing? 13. Split second math - Reliable/Unreliable gold and gold loss on death vs. Buyback availability - This is good too Essentially - DotA is a greedy woman, but I love her all the same. 11 / 10 would play again Update: Since posting this review back in Feb 2015, a lot has changed in the game. Some of this is irrelevant to the game today. Also, don't take what is wirtten here personally. Update 2: To all whom think that I copied this off someone else's review, look at the date at which my review was posted and then look at the others. I find it funny that people like my review so much they plagiarize it. Just so you know, I wrote it while on the toliet. :^)

I opened DOTA 2 I chose a Peru server I waited 20 minutes Your game is ready - Hey, guys, how are you? - Bad. - Why? - Russians. Russians everywhere. We hide here from them. - Well, then you've failed. - Why? - 'Cause I'm Russian - We do not believe you. Russians don't write in English. Prove it. - cука - сyka And then they all leave and threw me nine reports. 10 Russians out of 10.

still cant figure out how to jump

One day, a wise man intoduce me into this game. "it shall protect your virginity, my lad" he said.

This game is really great. Bots perform extremely realistic, almost eliminating the point in playing vs real humans. -Bots will ignore you when you ping a hero. Just like humans. -Bots will steal your farm. Just like humans. -Bots will 1v5 the enemy. Just like humans. -Bots will ignore enemies taking Roshan. Just like humans. -Bots will not ward. Just like humans. (supposedly this has been "fixed") 11/10 Additions by others: Bots aren't human, just like russians. > Topkek comment Depy the Pie-Ro - Bots will ignore when you get ganked, just like humans. Enlightened one - Bots will also go into rosh alone and sit there until they die not even hitting him (just like humans). DrewTylerJ - Bots will miss skillshots. Just like humans. MasterJonah - Bots will forget that runes exist. Just like humans. Top Hat - Bots will always pick the same heroes. Just like humans. ϢϊϨħṃῐ - Bots will always troll. Just like humans. Stinkyboy - Bots will buy divine and throw game. Just like humans. Kotaro Minami - Bots only pick carries. Just like humans. Dingbat - Bots use healing items on themselves when you're nearby at 5 health. Just like humans. SYN | Chaotic - Bots will never say anything helpful. Just like humans. NoHopeHere... - Bots run away during teamfights. Just like humans. Pizza sensei - Bots are jerks, just like humans. #ＰｕｒｐｌｅＧｕｙ- Bots go rambo in a team fight. Just like humans. ~M§. Mû§ïcäh~ - Bots waste their ults before the clash. Just like humans. Boi slenddeir - bots will always camp. just like humans. Compass- Bots don't know how to play as a team. Just like humans. Amarak™ - Bots will always instapick without even asking what other will pick, just like humans. Xexiter -Bots will play the hero wrong. Just like humans. Sir Voltage - Bots will ignore you. Just like humans. Bots will charge a low HP enemy in the range of an enemy tower, just like humans

The best program for learning the Russian language.

A great game with a very friendly and tolerant community, its also a very educational and cultural experience. Since I've been playing dota I've learned to speak russian and spanish, Who needs rosetta stone when you have dota right? The russians are so friendly and have a neat little nickname for americans called "Suukah", I think it means comrade or friend. And the peruvians are so helpful, for instance I was mid as pudge and at the start of the match a peruvian dazzle came mid with me and stayed with for about 11 minutes, He helped me out by taking the last hits and first blood. He said "movimiento puta", I think it means "I got your back", What a nice guy. Dota is great and all but there are a few problems with some heros, like bloodseeker, Phantom Assassin, Faceless void, And huskar. They need to be buffed, I find them extrememly underwhelmed. Bloodseekers ult cd is just too long and needs to be lowered to ten seconds, Phantom assassin needs a higher crit ratio, faceless needs more evasion and movement speed, and huskar's flaming spear should cost no hp. Oh and there's one other hero needs to be nerfed hard, Bat rider is just too overpowered and unbalanced. I think he has too much hp, and the base should be lowered to 320, also lower his base movement speed to 200. Aside from those few problems dota 2 is the best FPS I have ever played in my life.

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this game gave me cancer anyway.

How most of my solo ranked match goes : 1. Find match, wait for all people to load up 2. Marked middle-lane on my minimap 3. A dude on my team : "Mid or feed !" 4. Be a bigger man and give him mid, then i mark safelane 5. Other dude : "I'm gonna carry, trust me, give me safelane .." 6. Sigh, Mark hardlane and say "I'm going offlane then" 7. Another guy pick BristleBack and said "Just let me offlane !" 8. OMGWTFBBQ ! .. Picking support, being a solo support 9. Working my ass off stackin camps, buying wards, assisting on lanes 10. Have no items because few assist and didn't take any creeps 11. Lose miserably 12. Team said : "GG NOOB SUPPORT NO HELP AT ALL !!" 13. -25 MMR 14. Get Migrane, cries in the shower 11/10 would solo ranked again !

I lost my life. I lost my friends. I lost my girlfriend. I lost my personality. I forgot my hobbies. I forgot my studies. I forgot my manners. And finally, when I thought life would get better, I lost my family. GGWP 11/10 Would Pay Again.

This Game taught me so much. How to Curse in Russian. How to Curse in Spanish. How to проклятие in Russian. How to Curse in French. How to Curse in Dutch. Как прокляну in Russian How to Curse in Chinese. How to Curse in Portuguese. Как прокляну на русском языке. This game has truly enlightened me.

Just follow these rules to play DOTA2: How to act like a pro: 1. Make sure you have an intimidating nickname "ex: EZ RAMPAGE" 2. Pick mid carry or gay offlaner that u have GOOD/EXPENSIVE set 3. Say something scary (CapsLock :ON) "LET ME MID..TY" or "I GO SOLO BOTTOM/TOP" 4. Predict win! 5. Just lasthit like a pro (spamming "S") 6. When u feed just type "WTF LAG", when u got kill/ killsteal remember to laugh on all chat "HAHAHAHAHA" 7. When u win the game just say "EZ GAME" How to cumback the game: #Normal Strategy 1. Remain calm and def inside. 2. Go rat game! Buy manta/necro and boots of travel. 3. Split push and wards anywhere. 4. Gank their opponent MVP w/ smoke until have no buyback. 5. Final push, there it is! #TrashTalk Strategy 1. Blame their opponent carry can not fast end or have an ugly profile picture. 2. Call "ggwp no def, no buyback, end please!" 3. Chat to all, said ur team are noobs and kids! (there's phase your opponents underestimate your team and goin have fun with silly items build) "Space created~" 4. Then tells to your team. "Relax, you're doing fine", "Game is hard", and "Don't give up!". 5. Communicate to your team "we need teamwork". Who's tanker (blade mail / lotus), innitiator / disabler (dagger), carry / hitter (bkb), support heal / defensive aura (meka / pipe / etc) and rescuer (force staff / glimmer & wards) "insert your combowombo dream plans here" 6. Dream team here we go. #Use sh*ttytalk properly and don't hate team. Very simple game,, (y) Rate: 99/10

Choose in which Russia you want to play today: -Mother Russia -American Russia -Asian Russia -African Russia -Europe West Russia -Europe East Russia Choose with which Russians you want to play today: -Native Russians -American Russians -Asian Russians etc.etc. 11/10 would Russia again!

while the rest of you picked carry my eyes became teary i bought that donkey i bought those wards 4 tangos and 3 branches are all i got i did those pull i did those deny but wtf you just died the mid pudge wants me to ward the runes but the donkey is still crawling they call me noob for not buying wards but a gold per second is all i get and i dont even have my boots yet

In Dota 2, Not many people speak your language. Not many people play well. Not many people talk nicely. Not many people work as a team. But if you find people that do... You'll have the most fun you've ever had.

1) set server region to Europe West 2) language preference - English only 3) find a match 4) realise that 5 people in your match are russians 5) get reported by them for PICKING riki 6) quit Rating: cукa/10

9/10 i am still waiting for the tenth player confirm

This community is so nice i got a lot of tips on how to uninstall the game and what to do with myself

Game is okay but I still haven't done all the quests! EDIT: Hahaha I never read the comments on this :D really hilarious! Mostly that I dont have a life and stuff, I'm happy to be informed of this! People that worry that I dont see the sun, I'm swedish, there's no sun to begin with so dont worry. People thinking I wasted 10000+ hours of my life, well this is my fulltime job for the last 3 years, streaming dota. I had great fun and made a sustainable income, just like anyone else who loves their job.

This game is the best dress up game since Hello Kitty Online Adventure.

this game ruined my life