Found beach. Built nice hut on beach. Storm started. Started storm watching. Tsunami came. No more hut. GG.

hit tree with axe tree hit me back 10/10

1. Tell your friends about the game. Nobody is interested. 2. Argue why everyone should buy it. Everyone disagrees. 3. After a long persuasion, everyone reluctantly agrees to buy the game. 4. Start the game and play together for couple of hours. Be unable to continue. Your friends continue anyway. 5. Come back after couple of days. The village has been built and the first two bosses has been slain. 6. Follow your friends as they manically introduce all their new gear and weapons. Fake laugh alongside your friends. Play couple hours and tell them you will have more time to play in weekend. Disconnect from the server. 7. Come back again in Friday. Check your friends' steam profiles. See that they have played Valheim for over 100 hours during the last week. 8. Enter the server. The whole kingdom with taverns, castles and stonewalls has been built. Only the final boss is remaining to be slain. Admire your friends new attire; glimmering swords and golden capes. Listen to your friends when they guide you to how to skip the entire game to get the best gear available. Find your personal corner with your bed and crappy gear turned to a storage room. The only house you previously built is used as a pen for breeding boars. Fake laugh again alongside your friends. 9. Follow your friends as they leave the base to gather materials. Encounter the first low level mob that kills you due to your low level and poor gear. Resurrect and spin around the base without any purpose for couple hours. Quit the game when your friends are still on their voyage. 10. Next morning check your WhatsApp where your friends boast on the group chat how they have slayed the final boss and finished the game. Nobody is interested to play it anymore. Uninstall the game for good. 5/5 great experience.

First 5 minutes into the game, I try chopping down my first tree after making my first axe. Tree fell on me. I died. 10/10 would recommend.

>see people buying game >ask them about it >overwhelmingly positive >ask discord server if we should play it >some say yeah people are telling us to >ok lets go >buy game >load in >wtf im flying >alright where we dropping boys >oh wait we're all in the same place >look a bird punch it >oh talking bird >pick up stones and wood >make axe >hew tree >my dumbass just stands and watches as it falls on me instantly dying >respawn sitting there agape >mfer the trees kill you in this game >THE TREES KILL YOU IN THIS GAME >right dust myself off lets go get a house built >need a workbench? >needs to be roofed? >dude this sucks ass >oh hey the stuff actually snaps to each other(LOOKING AT YOU ARK) >holy shit this building system is kind of neat >alright small house done >lets get food >deers run away before I can catch them >mfer how do we get food >oh look a boar >bonk >oh fuck theres 3 more of them >oh shit oh fuck >ded again >stupid bird tells me to get berries instead >nah f u im getting the boys we going for boar meat tonight >round everyone up >have ourselves a boar hunt >ok we got meat now lets cook it >put it on the fire >ok now we wait >somehow it burns to coal right in front of our eyes >fuck >go get more meat >put it on the fire >spam the e button >getting impatient I step into the fire >death no.3 >return to burnt food >ok i'll just eat berries fs >fast forward to our walled base in the black forest with farm, furnaces and boats >27 hours played >i bought this game 11am Sunday >it is 11pm Monday >i havent had this in a game in a long time

I chopped tree. Tree chopped back

I never thought I'd see the day where 6 Viking Warriors, resurrected to fight for Odin's Honor would all die from a single mosquito. We had to sit around the campfire and come up with a strategy for literal bugs. 10/10 would lose dignity again. Side note, please don't look up guides on this game. It's so much more enjoyable exploring and learning on your own. Have fun!

It got a crafting/boss progression similar to Terraria. It has Dark Souls-like combat and punishment for death. It got world/biome generation similar to Minecraft. It got textures like a PS1 game. It got lighting like a 2020 AAA game. It sounds weird, but it's absolutely fantastic!

Beware of falling trees.

i am currently stranded on an island/rock in the middle of an ocean with 280lb of bronze and decisions need to be made.

I'm 87 years old, and I've been gaming since world war 2, I love Valheim

Start as a viking, end up as Bob the Builder. Great game.

Gameplay: I spent: - 300h chopping wood, - 80h building storage for more wood - 3h grinding ressources to upgrade my axe to chop wood more efficiently Enemy design: - There are small trees which can be defeated in a bare knuckle fight. - Regular Trees which require at least a stone axe to be killed, - Boss trees can be taken down if you come prepared (by bringing a better axe) Conclusion: Need more Wood

DO NOT buy this game if you are a huge fan of the EA experience. These devs have some nerve touting this as an EA game. A good EA game should start off being unplayable for about a week, so that you as the buyer should have time to figure out whether or not you want to get your money back. Then, once it's "playable", you should be stressed out while playing, worrying about whether or not your hours of work are going to vanish because of some ridiculous glitch that wipes out everything. You should also be fighting with constant lag so that you continually die and possibly lose all your gear that you worked hard for. As well, an EA game should have really ridiculous things like rocks floating in the air, etc. to remind you that the game you are playing is in the early stages. Because of this game I have been robbed of the excuse, "Oh well, it is an EA game that I bought" when something goes horribly wrong. I've also been robbed of hearing the scores of salty people who bought this game saying some version of "this game sucks"...what will I do without reading about all the negativity about this "Early Access" game! In conclusion, I just want to say thank you to Iron Gate Studios for ruining my EA experience! Now, I have a higher standard for what an EA game should look like when it's released.

I killed a 10 ft troll :) A mosquito killed me :(

Day 1: Odin says I'm not allowed into Valhalla until I kill his enemies in this limbo-realm on Yggdrasil. His big tiddy goth waifu crow-woman Valkyrie carries me here, but neglects to give me any weapons or clothes. She left. It's raining. I am unhappy. Day 6: Punching tree hurts. Punching rock hurts more. Made a shelter. Almost suffocated from the smoke because I forgot that fires need chimneys or the building will fill with ash. I punted a dwarf off a cliff. I am less unhappy. Day 14: Punched a thunder god in the taint, mounted its head on the mantle. My cabin's room temperature is no longer "sit in the fire to be not-cold." I am happy. Day 24: Explored forest today. Heard a thump. Shadow the size of a house swung a tree at me. It missed, but it hit every tree around me. The trees collapsed. I was underneath them. Woke up naked on an altar. I am very unhappy. Day 29: Very unhappy that it keeps raining. I want to burn the forest down. Especially the big forest. The big forest is bad. Day 39: Made bronze, shanked tree, crafted boat. Landed on an island. Island started sinking. Then giant monster came by and ate me. Woke up in bed this time. Boat is now in the middle of the ocean. I am very unhappy. Day 76: Swamp sucks. Swamp sucks swamp sucks swamp sucks. Day 93: Note to self: Do not spend night on mountain. Mountain is not friendly. Mountain is sky-swamp at night. Day 120: Found cool steppe, very sunny, looks comfy. Will scout for base location. Day 121: Woke up in bed. Ship again stranded leagues away. Have to make third ship. I hate mosquitoes. Day 264: New island. Nothing but jagged rocks and fog. I hate it here. I hate whatever stupid god made this place. I hate Odin for sending me here. When I get to Valhalla I'm going to find them and punch them. Day 293: Found magic stick. Am very happy. Day 346: Have ascended beyond the need for questing. Built a chicken coop and a kennel for my dogs and am content in cozy fortress. Screw Odin. Screw Valhalla. Screw whatever horrible thing keeps making noises in the fog. I'm staying here. I win. 0/10. Developers have not yet invented time travel so that all development time can have already occurred so that I don't need to wait for them to make new things. They refuse to feed my addiction. I am very unhappy.

Accidentally played for 12 hours straight, going to make some dinner now. It's good!

This game was great until I was exploring the plains and was killed by a mosquito, then after I respawned two more mosquito's spawned In next to my basic little hut I made after crossing the sea, one of the mosquito's managed to fly through a window and is now trapped in my house killing me every time I respawn, if the mosquito trapped in my house wasn't bad enough there is one guarding the outside and one next to my body, I tried to escape in my boat but after I threw it in third gear I got killed and boat sailed away. The strategic genius of the mosquito squad is far too much for my relatively small brain to handle and if anyone has any tips on what to do it would be greatly appreciated

I hate this game... I have 212 hours in it. I hate it. I've redownloaded it because I miss the abuse. I hate it. I now have Stockholm Syndrome because of this game. I love this game.

Odin won't let me go outside anymore and I have Stockholm Syndrome

Early in the year 2021, I heard about this game a decent amount of people were talking about: "Valheim" It appeared to be some sort of Survival Craft / Sandbox title taking place in a Norse mythology setting, and since I love both, I thought to myself: "Hey, let's give this a try!" Several months later, I'm unable to tell if that grunt I just heard came from some creature in the game or my own stomach because of the pasta I ate raw in order to minimize the time spent on something else than building, slaying monsters and gathering materials. Social interactions are a distant memory, time is irrelevant and I could swear the other day my cat attempted to speak norwegian while sporting a fake beard in order to try and get my attention. Now allow me to at least try to explain to you why you should drop everything and make Valheim your new and only religion: -The game's not good; it's amazing . At the time I'm writing this, Valheim is still in early access. This is something I genuinely have to regularly remind myself because so far, it actually feels like a finished product. In my 900+ hours of play time ( shut up ), I could count on a single hand's digits the times I've run into bugs, and all of them were minor things that a simple log out/ log back in immediately fixed, with no consequence whatsoever. From gameplay to graphics, every aspect of the game is so polished that when you take into consideration the fact that this is a work in progress made by a small team of indie developpers, it's enough to put some of the biggest names in the industry through such amounts of shame that they'd wish they were Activision Blizzard right now. -Ok, but what is this game about? Basically, Valheim is some sort of cross between Survival Craft, Adventure and Sandbox set in an open world. The (pretty huge) map is comprised of several different biomes you'll have to explore in order to find crafting and building materials, fight monsters and eventually face bosses. It is procedurally generated at world creation, which means that no two maps will look the same, thus contributing to a unique experience. Progression is based on the improvement of your gear through crafting, which requires materials you'll get from various sources in the world; some of which you'll only have access to after defeating bosses. Recipes are unlocked either by putting said materials into your inventory or interacting with crafting stations for the first time. This means that if you join a world in which the other players have already defeated bosses and stored materials, breaking into their homes and rummaging through the crap they've been hoarding like a real Viking should allow you to catch up on their progression without having to do the exploring and fighting yourself (and possibly ruin your experience in the process, as well as earning yourself the title of Lazy Bastard). To help you achieve your goals, you have a system of "skills" which are improved through pure practice. For example, the more you sprint, the higher your sprinting skill value gets, which progressively allows you to sprint for longer while using less stamina. In other words: practice leads to efficiency. -Sounds nice, but what's so special about it? If you've played other Open World Survival Craft games before, like Ark: Survival Evolved or Conan Exiles (which are pretty damn good in their own right), you might notice some similarities with Valheim in terms of mechanics and gameplay. What Valheim does that others don't in that regard, is either improving on or getting rid of these elements that happen to mostly cause rectal discomfort in other games from the genre. Ever spent four hours farming the stone required to build the three missing walls from your crappy shack in hope of preventing your untimely death from pneumonia caused by a sudden summer breeze, only to be on your way home and suddenly die of dehydration because more than three minutes have passed since the last time you drank? And then you spent two more hours just running to your corpse on the other side of the continent, dying 475 more times in the process because some local flock of seagulls have deemed you the perfect sacrifice to their dark god? But when you finally managed to reach the location of your body, you only found undisturbed dust and sand as even the scorching sun seemed to laugh at your absolute despair? No such tragedy in Valheim . Although you can -and will- die in the welcoming embrace of your friendly neighborhood wildlife, the game is designed in such a way that most of the frustration you'll experience could only be blamed on your own lack of foresight. Examples of this would be the following: - You cannot die of hunger or thirst, although eating is necessary to increase your health and stamina in order to survive encounters with monsters or sudden falls from steep cliffs - The amounts of materials required for crafting and building can be gathered without necessiting to quit your job and survive on potatoes bought on the internet with healthcare money - Weather only affects your health and stamina regeneration rate (except if you plan on climbing snow-covered mountains in your birthday suit, but I'm no one to judge, we've all tried this IRL at least once) - Player corpses have no time limit and will never disappear, even after a server restart - As long as there's four walls and a roof around them, beds can be placed anywhere and the last one you interacted with will act as your next respawn location until you manually disable it Now don't get me wrong: the game absolutely does not lack anything in terms of challenge, and at times you may potentially suffer flashbacks from that time you tried Dark Souls while drunk with your neighbors' newborn baby howling like a tasmanyan devil in the background. -Have you considered seeing a therapist? Don't need to; don't want to. Plus I don't have to do anything you tell me to since you're not even my real mom. -Sounds a bit too perfect, there must be at least some downsides There are, but as surprising or dubious as it may seem, there aren't many in my humble opinion: - Technical optimisation isn't the best as of yet. I'm more specifically thinking about the fact that being in an area with several player-made structures can cause severe framerate drops, even on decent computers. This can go to the point of unplayable on lower-end computers, as it happened to one of my chums who eventually stopped playing for now because of it. Hopefully it will be fixed with an upcoming update. - The damage dealt to structures by some higher-tier creatures just feels like the equivalent of card castles in a room full of chimps with ADHD. - (Used to rant about auto-pickup here, turns out I'm just blind) Keep in mind, however, that the game is still in early access at the time I'm posting this review. -Final words Somewhere in-between thrilling and relaxing, Valheim is a very well-balanced game made with love and passion, and it really shows. The ability to alter the terrain by digging / flattening / raising the ground is pretty dope. Regardless of what you think about the retro-ish style of the graphics, this game is gorgeous . You'll know what I mean. From the very first time I got ganged up on by a group of monsters while peacefully picking berries, to when I took a sip of mead as I watched the horizon from the top of my fortress decorated with the heads of their brethren, I enjoyed every second of this journey I'm still far from being done with. If you are tempted, just buy the game; I promise you won't regret it. Also, f♥♥♥ Greydwarves.

This game has no business being this F****** GOOD UPDATE: Did everything, still F****** GOOD

Mushrooms are Red Dungeons are Narrow The Ground is Shaking You are out of arrow

the giant troll looks like XQC

A week ago I was diagnosed with a terminal illnes and the doctors have given me a year at best. I'm so glad I was able to play this masterpiece before I go. I don't know how many people will see this; but I recomend to you to buy this game if you do see it. Gameplay, graphics, effects, coop... everything is masterfully crafted. Thank you Iron Gate for your game.

troll got a nice ass