SteamCritique
Quiz
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Portal 2Portal 2
Step 1: Get game Step 2: Play game Step 3: Be smart Step 4: Beat game Step 5: Tell friend to get game Step 6: Play multiplayer Step 7: Scream at them for being stupid Step 8: Feel good about yourself
4883 votes funny
Step 1: Get game Step 2: Play game Step 3: Be smart Step 4: Beat game Step 5: Tell friend to get game Step 6: Play multiplayer Step 7: Scream at them for being stupid Step 8: Feel good about yourself
4883 votes funny
Don't have much experience in this game, but what little time I did spend playing was great fun. One of my top 5 games of all time easily 11/10
2696 votes funny
Please Valve, Learn to count past 2
2449 votes funny
Buy it. For science. You monster.
1338 votes funny
If your friends don't think this is one of the best games ever, you need smarter friends.
1248 votes funny
Surprisingly, this game can run on my potato.
1150 votes funny
Its little to say that this game is great. But if Lord Gaben could count to 3 when it comes to making games, that'd be amazing.
888 votes funny
I wanted cake but i got a potato that talked back to me instead.
853 votes funny
before you buy this game: ▎Note that after playing your brain will explode (with knowledge) ▎Understand that your iq will increase ▎Know that it may contain traces of Smooth Jazz ▎Deduce that Portal 2 is worth your time Realise you have been warned...
793 votes funny
*SPOILER ALERT* GLaDOS: Well, this is the part where he kills us" Wheatley "Hello! This is the part where I kill you" CHAPTER 9 THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU Soundtrack: The part where he kills you "lol"
756 votes funny
A woman with millions of fan theories about without ever speaking a word. Intentionally designed to be stupid British cores. Cruel women cores that are really good at singing. Turrets with low self esteem. A man that hates lemonade and sounds like J. Jonah Jameson from spiderman. A potato that becomes your friend. Combined together with the one of the most original gameplay ever. 10/10
649 votes funny
My Review : This was a potato! I'm making a potato here: Huge success! It's hard to overfeed my satisfaction. Potato Science: We do what we must because we dine For the food of all of us. Except the ones who are bread. But there's no sense crying over piece of steak. You just keep on eating 'til you run out of cake. And the slice gets done. And you make a wheat pun for the people who are still potato. I'm not even potato... I'm being so potato right now. Even though you broke my belly, and killed me. And tore me to slices. And threw every piece into oven. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you! Now, these chips of potatoes make a tasty line. And we're out of beta. We're baking on time! So I'm GLaD I got burned! Think of all the things we learned! for the people who are still potatoes. That was a joke. Ha Ha. Fat Gaben! 3/3 The cake is a lie Thank you for the suggestions, upvotes and comments, you monsters. I'm GLaD you guys liked it!
595 votes funny
*Me playing Portal 2* Man this game is awesome ! They must make sequels. But then i realized who made the game ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
518 votes funny
My brain before I played Portal 2: \\  \ \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   \ < ⌒ヽ    /   へ \    /  /  \ \    レ ノ    ヽ_つ   / /   / /|  ( (ヽ  | | 、\  | 丿 \ ⌒)  | |  ) / ノ )  Lノ My brain after I played Portal 2: /フフ          ム`ヽ / ノ)          | | / |  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ⌒(ゝ._,ノ / ノ⌒7⌒ヽーくー \ / 丶_ ノ 。   ノ、 。|/    `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ     丶  ̄ _人'彡)
515 votes funny
Nobody will read my review, so i'll just say i'm gay
502 votes funny
GlaDOS called me adopted
479 votes funny
10/10 - Would buy again. Oh wait, I've already bought it three times.
475 votes funny
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze give us Portal 3! I'll buy it even if it sells for $999.99!
440 votes funny
It's a good game. Has important lessons about lemons. 10/10
408 votes funny
Great game, makes you feel somewhat smart
404 votes funny
Wheatley says he has to drop from the rails several feet above me. He's nervous about it. I promised I'll catch him. ... I lied. I watch as he thunks and rolls on the ground. He asks me to pick him up. I refuse. I watch as he entices, begs and cajoles me to pick him up. Several minutes later I do. Then he asks me to plug him into the wall. I decide to dance around the room with him instead. The cycle of begging and wheedling begins again. After several minutes he gives up and falls silent. I plug him into the wall. 10/10 Would torture Wheatley again.
394 votes funny
⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son? ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
390 votes funny
NOT recommended! I've spent too much time on this game and lost my job and my wife! A total waste of my life! ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄
374 votes funny
Are you really trying to find an excuse not to buy this game?
343 votes funny
When life gives you lemons, don't make a lemonade ... Sell 'em and buy this game.
313 votes funny

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